Hi. I am Carole I am 42 single parent, and I live in Cheshire.
If you’ve been a single mother for some time you might be having those impulses and desires to meet someone new. It’s quite common for single mums to start feeling guilty or upset with themselves when going through this time. But we are here to tell you, that you don’t need to feel guilty with yourself, it’s perfectly normal behaviour to want to meet someone new, when you are ready of course.
At the end of the day our purpose here on earth according to many, is to procreate, so finding the right partner for this hard-wired instinct is ingrained in each and everyone of us. Just because it might have not worked out for you the first time round, doesn’t in any way mean it won’t work out for you the second time! In fact I have many, many friends who at some point were single mums just like you, nearly all of them have found someone new that they are now married with, and would go on record saying they are happier with their new partner!
So don’t always look at a breakup as just a negative time in your life. Try and take some positives away from it, apart from the beautiful memories you have, and the birth of your children, maybe look at what made the relationship bad to begin with, what did your partner at the time do that made you feel uneasy or like things were not working out? Or if it was something that you did to cause the break down in your relationship, take some time to reflect on your actions, what could you have done differently and what can you learn before moving on to the next relationship.
The path of learning about yourself and the way you can handle situations never ends, there are always possibilities and opportunities to find something new about yourself, so don’t beat yourself down after a breakup, use it as a way to learn something about yourself, or the other person, so that you can bring that new knowledge and understanding into any future relationship you embark on.
As for feeling guilty towards your kids? Well they only want the best for you.Of course depending on their age and how much of a toll the previous breakup impacted them, they may not be happy with you bringing someone new into both your worlds, but once they come to terms with that new person sticking around, and being good to you, they will quickly accept this new character in their life, and also in yours.
We will leave this blog post here, but remember that you are not doing anything wrong by wanting to share your life with someyone new, and like so many people in the world the second time round can be much, much better than the first!